it was loud. i was probably slightly hungover. my kitchen looked like a butter-covered battlefield.
and yet? somehow, i pulled off Gordon Ramsay’s Eggs Benedict like I had my life together.

spoiler: i didn’t.
but these eggs… they lied for me beautifully.

I Made Gordon Ramsay’s Eggs Benedict While Spiraling and Somehow It Worked

eggs benedict feels like one of those dishes you only order when someone else is paying.
it whispers “fancy brunch” and “bottomless mimosas” and “i own linen napkins.”
so naturally, i decided to make it at home. alone. while slightly emotionally unhinged.

i didn’t have a vibe. i had vinegar, bacon, a blender, and a dream.
and let me tell you: it was messy.
but it slapped.

What Gordon Ramsay Would Do

he’d probably make his hollandaise in a stainless steel bowl over a bain-marie while yelling “move faster!” at some poor sous chef.

but his actual method? surprisingly doable:

• fry up your bacon
• poach the eggs in vinegar-water (gently, like they’re emotionally sensitive)
• toast your english muffins
• blitz together egg yolks, lemon juice, and butter into a silky hollandaise sauce
• stack it all up: muffin, bacon, poached egg, sauce, parsley sprinkle—done

it’s rich. tangy. creamy. total brunch main-character energy.

What I Changed (And Why)

honestly, i kept it pretty close. but here’s how i made it survivable:

• i used streaky bacon because that’s what was in the fridge
• swapped tabasco into the hollandaise because i needed spice and drama
• poached the eggs two at a time because i only had one slotted spoon
• used a toaster for the muffins and nearly forgot them (they were… dark)
• i didn’t clarify my butter. gordon, if you’re reading this: i’m sorry. i was in survival mode.

and yes, i broke my hollandaise the first time. started over.
second batch? smooth as therapy. hotter than my last situationship.
we grow.

How It Turned Out

ridiculously good. like, eyes-closed-on-the-first-bite good.
the yolk ran just right. the hollandaise hugged the muffin. the bacon was crisp but not aggressive.
i didn’t plate it pretty.
i stacked it like a tower of edible triumph and inhaled it while standing at the counter, barefoot, in a T-shirt that said “this is fine.”

and for that moment?
it was fine.

So, Was It Worth It?

yes. not because it was perfect. but because i made a dish i’d usually order in a $25 brunch combo while texting my ex, and i did it in my chaotic kitchen with unbrushed hair.

and it made me feel capable.
messy. but capable.

How to Make Gordon Ramsay’s Eggs Benedict (Ava’s Chaotic Brunch Version)

tangy, buttery, rich, and worth every dropped egg and curse word.
make it when you need to feel like your life might be together—just for a moment.

Smart Tips

• Don’t boil the water. just a gentle simmer—eggs are delicate little things.
• Use room temp eggs. they poach better. i don’t make the rules.
• Break the sauce? try again. you’re allowed to fail and restart. it’s brunch, not heart surgery.
• Toast the muffins last. timing is everything here.
• Eat it while it’s hot. no food photography, just joy.

FAQs

Can I make hollandaise without a blender?
Yes—but you’ll be whisking like your life depends on it. blender = sanity.

What if my eggs look weird?
They probably still taste perfect. We love an awkward egg.

Can I prep anything ahead?
Yes! Poach eggs ahead, shock in cold water, reheat in warm water. You’re officially fancy.